Posted in Wonderers

Emptiness Inside Me

It has been long since I’ve written something and as the days are passing by, the time I have last written seems archaic. Sometimes, I sit down at the desk with the pen and the paper and try to write down the words, that come to my mind in the light of the moment. But all hopes come crashing down whenever the challenge of writing a full paragraph present itself. 

The blank pages keep staring at me, and the more I stare back at it, I could feel its awkward grin on my perplexed face. I look away intimidated by the presence of these simple objects, crushing them into the dustbin. The disappointment comes from within along with fear of never being able to write again. The despair is comparable to a person who has recently lost his/her voice. I feel as if my hands are tied with the shackles of infinite burdens, and for some reason the courageous self inside me has become dormant, unable to break free from all these weights. 

And along with this fear comes the emptiness. The darkness that is shrouded by the sunlight. Like a portal to another dimension, the void inside me opens up and like a wound it bleeds this darkness profusely. I get lost in the echoes of the train of thoughts inside my head. The thin line between subconscious and conscious mind blurs as the hallucinations becomes more frequent than often. 

One fine night, when you have had bad food and your stomach churns from within, the sensation you get on pressing your palms tightly on your stomach is exactly the same, for the hollowness inside me. There is a storm battling its way through this void disrupting the body clock and decaying the reasoning mind. I look for the oasis in the otherwise dry desert.

But they say, a writer cannot be suppressed in the most dire conditions. And somehow, in this dry desert, in the raging storm of my hollowness I find myself again at the desk sitting with a pen and scribbling on the paper, masking the awkward grin of this reality. 



From reflection to shadows, they all whisper silent tales.

68 thoughts on “Emptiness Inside Me

  1. Sit on your chair, look at the paper as an opportunity to pen down anything. If you are out of words, get out of it! Doodle, draw, dicover smiles and let it amaze you how you can create happiness yourself. Learn to keep love. It’s not pain, it’s no misery. Trust me. Just the feeling that you are working and being better day by day is love. And the one who has sight, will see it. Wait. You are brave enough to be by yourself. World is beautiful and so should your sight be. You’ll not see love until you not let it overcome emptiness and everything you feel around. Let it. It will be beautiful. I promise.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m not ashamed to say it but I’m not a writer nor do I have the ambition to be one. I see the writers here in the comments and the various other posts I’ve had the pleasure of reading. I can feel you because it’s just like anything else for which I may have a passion. I write to empty my thoughts. I keep archives in my phone. It can be simple thoughts, complex ones, observations, social commentary, but with a writer I think there’s always more texture behind what you create, versus what I do.

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    1. We don’t necessarily be a writer to write about anything. I always use writing to vent out my feelings as I feel it is the easiest way to bleed through the invisible wounds.

      I have read your post and they are very good. Keep Writing more and share with us the experiences. πŸ˜‡

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I guess we all have been to that zone when the words seem elusive, the thoughts incoherent. But believe me when you look back at the crazy time, these will be the impetus to conjure an amazing story!


  4. I can totally relate. The fear the agony the insecurity. It seems as if the previous works also were not written by me. Writings are often of the soot that remains after burning a part of ourselves. Sometimes the fire stops to seek a new corner to burn. We might just need to be ready to sacrifise more.
    Stunning work.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Really touching post again AmartyaπŸ™‡β€β™€οΈ
    Sometimes there are thousands of thoughts running inside our mind but we can’t find the words to explain happens with me many times..i understand that helplessness..

    Liked by 4 people

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