Looking through the window of the darkroom, I have always imagined myself lying on the meadow closing my eyes feeling the wind caressing my hairs and running down my nose over the swellings of my breast down to the lower part of my body. I would simply stare at the blue sky my thoughts wandering through every aspect of life and touching over the delicate issues of existence that are far from being noticed.
Some days I would extend my hands from in between the bars and feel the cold raindrops falling on my palm. For a normal human being this sensation of nature may not be as heavenly as it seems, but for me each drop would bear the weight of this whole universe. The only way I had communication with this outside world. I savoured bits and pieces of this feeling and kept it close to my heart until next time.
My misery had always taught me to supress the anguish inside me. I have become a lone warrior not to triumph over the wars but to survive barely. They have already assured me, that I’m a faulty human with so many flaws that, spending a life like a normal being was never an option. Yet, in those countless nights when I’ve felt afraid, the voice in my head kept on telling,
“You will get a much better life, don’t give up so easily.”
The sunlight barely filters into the darkroom but when it does, I used to soak my whole body in the scanty light and would feel the warmth on my face, as if someone has finally extended their hands and touching my bare translucent skin, afraid that it will tear off any moment.
I’ve always hoped to get better with time, but they have also made me an untamed animal just like them screaming and grunting in pain.
It was on my 18th birthday, that I finally managed to escape. For the first time in a lifetime, I tasted freedom on my lips, my eyes were bathed with the strange city lights and surprisingly, my heart was restless. I ran harder, that day never caring about the way I was going, getting lost in the city as nothing was mine that I cared of.
Jumbled Letters 2018.
There will be a sequel to this part. I therefore request my fellow bloggers, if they can take some time out from their busy schedule and give that post a reading, as I’m writing a proper short story for the first time of around 2000 words. That post will be coming soon, as I’ve not yet finished.
Thank You to all my blogger friends!