Difficult Phase

Yes it is about difficult phase in one’s life. 

I don’t know what opinions to share or life advices to give, but in this I will definitely try to write about my honest feelings. 

I have this strange habit of acknowledging the presence of clouds everywehre. Every fictitious story to real life events often start with rain, and ends with thunder and there is also a vivid comparison between the rain and life which exists parallel to each other, hardly interfering with each other’s path of existence yet similar in so many ways. So as it seems my life is revolving around the only aspect of nature which has been there to tide over my difficult times. 

But apart from solace and finding peace in rain, while looking out of the window towards the falling showers, which is hardly visible, my mind fills up with thoughts. A lot of them. Some are of happiness but mostly melancholic and unhappy ones. 

And if situations are difficult and there is a general sense of detachment from others I often find rains and thunders unsettling. As if, only I exists in this world. Everyone seems to vanish from clear sight and there is a thick fog surrounding my mind. 

I find clarity only when stepping into someone else’s than mine. My mind is an endless abyss of intangible thoughts always brewing up storms and raining curses. I get lost in the echo of the empty spaces reverberating the sound of the raindrops. 

So it has been a very courageous task to tackle with my difficult time. Discovering myself again, atleast enough to survive, isn’t as easy as it sounds. Facing my insecurities after a breif spell of solitude makes the task even difficult. I dread my existance and the validity of socializing with people. I retreat myself to a phase of temporary seclussion where things are much more organized than the place I really belong. 

Things dosen’t workout for me, and like a bright sunny day the fog lifts all of a sudden to nourish me with the wise thoughts again and my mind clears up enough, for me to join the mainstream. 

But here are a few advices, I know it sounds a little dramatic but I will give anyway.

• Most important of all that I’ve learned through these years, is you definitely need someone to tell them about your anxieties and worries. Things might not be clear to you but, if the person understands you enough they may have a much clearer picture of what you are going through. 
• Sometimes all we need is someone to listen. Without any word from them. 
• Also in difficult phase we can try to pen down our feelings, the raw ones the jumbled ones and the complex ones. Sometimes it provides the necessary solace to go back to the daily life.  
• You can also join various community groups and share your thoughts with them. 

Wishing everyone a happy weekend. 

Dreaming Reality 2018.